I Cried Today

I was laying on the couch with Ellie when I got this text…

My heart sank and my eyes filled with tears as I read those words.

Someone that I love was hating the body they were in. Feeling disgusted and discouraged because of numbers on a scale.

I’ve written before about my experience with disordered eating here, and am all too familiar with the ways these unhealthy patterns can creep up on you and overtake your life. So as I read this text all I could think was where these thoughts could lead. In short…..it was no where good.

This person is a mother. A daughter. A friend. A counselor. A dream-chaser. An entrepreneur. A homemaker. A wish-granter. A caretaker. A trip-planner. And so much more than that number on the scale.

But when you’re surrounded by fat burners, detoxes, cleanses, wraps, and every other quick fix/skinny solution/your life is incomplete without this product, how can you expect to focus on anything else?

It’s hard to look past your imperfect physical appearance, which everyone and their brother is trying to sell you a “fix” for, and appreciate all of the things your body can do perfectly.

Like climb out of bed each day, fix lunches for your children, get them off to their activities, go to work, buy groceries, cook dinner, provide comfort for tears and cheers for celebrations, and celebrate another day of living.

When you have 800 other things on your plate, sometimes eating healthy, exercising regularly, and maintaining your weight all get pushed to the back burner.

I’m not advocating for or promoting pursuing an unhealthy lifestyle. I majored in Dietetics, and I’m working on a Master’s in Nutrition.

Obviously, I’m passionate about healthy living.

But what I’m more passionate about is living. Really, truly, LIVING.

And when you’re so caught up in how much weight you’ve gained, how little you’ve exercised, or how disgusted you are with your body, you have less time to enjoy all of the wonderful things your body continues to allow you to do.

I recently dug up these pictures to show someone as I was sharing with them about my experience with an eating disorder.

Do you know what I remember most about each of these moments?

Who I was with, what we did, the fun I had…..none of those things are among my most prominent memories.

What I do remember is how much I weighed and the things I ate. Not kidding.

How sad is that? My most prominent memories of a two year span of my life is the number on a scale and the amount of calories I ate each day.

I don’t want anyone else to live like that, especially not those who are close to me.

So mommas, daddies, college kids, grandparents, retired folks……whoever you are and whatever stage of life you’re in, please, please, please keep everything in perspective when it comes to weight and body image.

Should you try to eat healthy and get some type of activity everyday? Absolutely. Those things will help you live a full, happy, healthy life.

But should you let the weight you’ve gained dictate how you view your life? No.

Whether you weigh 120lb or 210lb, you have the power to enjoy your life. Soak up every moment. Give yourself grace. And keep everything in perspective.

Don’t waste valuable time you could be happily spending with your family on hating your body and loathing that number on a scale. Let it go.

You won’t look back and regret sharing that sundae with your son, but you might look back and regret skipping the moment all together.